Are you debating whether or not you should end your relationship? Dating can be very challenging at times and sometimes a person needs to stop and consider the pros and cons before they can keep going. Let’s look at some of the things a person should evaluate when deciding if they should break up with their boyfriend or girlfriend or not.
First, a person should consider the good and bad things about their relationship. In fact, it would be helpful if they made a list of all the positives and the negatives and see what they come up with. Keep in mind that a decision should not be made strictly on which list is longer, but rather on the most important items in each of these lists. For instance, if there are 3 items in the list of positive things, which mean a lot to you and your happiness, these may be reasons to stay in the relationship. On the other hand, if there are many important items in the list of negatives, where your boyfriend or girlfriend does not meet your expectations, you may want to consider ending the relationship. It is strictly a matter of deciding if you can live happily with the way things that are distributed on your two lists.
It is also important to think about whether or not you can visualize a long-term relationship with the person that you are dating. Can you imagine being with this person that you are dating for a year, five years or perhaps even a lifetime? Maybe you can hardly imagine yourself with your current boyfriend or girlfriend for more than a week, in which case you should end the relationship before things get out of hand and complicated.
Another point to consider is if there is anyone else who you know who you are attracted to more than the person you are dating. If there is someone you would rather be with than your current boyfriend or girlfriend, it is better to end the relationship sooner than later. A yearning to be with someone else is surely a sign that the relationship that you are in is not the one for you. To prevent hurt in this case, you should end your current relationship and pursue that person who you want to date before things go too far. Perhaps it is a friend of yours who you have started seeing in a romantic light and are attracted to. Whatever the case may be, you need to follow your heart and do what is right for you.
When deciding to break up or not is whether or not your boyfriend or girlfriend puts you first. Are you the priority or does someone else or something else comes before you in importance to your partner? If you find yourself last on the list most of the time, you might want to take this as a sign that you should break up and move on with someone who values being with you more.
Finally, trust is a something that you want to consider in determining the destiny of your relationship. Do you trust the person you are dating or not? Perhaps they have given you reasons to distrust them, in which case breaking up may be the answer. In relationships where trust is missing, it is either a sign to move on or try to understand or fix what it is that is causing the distrust. Whatever you decide, you need to be true to yourself.
A little support for those that need to end it…..
And then one day it hits you…
The one thing you were so sure you wanted for the rest of your life, wasn’t the one thing that you needed for the rest of your life. And you were unconciouisly fighting against it. You were so “sure”, but you just couldn’t see it. You made bad decisions, you kept purposely pushing yourself away… only to run back, because you were so “sure” that it was the rest of your life you were running back to. But you don’t run BACK to the rest of your life. It is ahead of you. So, you eventually lose it… all that which you were so sure of… you lose it completely. You even understand how you lost it… I mean, how could you not have lost it after all the bad decisions and all the pushing away. You just don’t understand how you kept making those decisions, over and over, knowing perfectly well they were bad and wrong…
Then one day it hits you…
The dust will probably never settle, the hurt can’t be reversed, the scars will most likely be there forever, and you may regret some paths you took… for a long time… but you realize where you were going wasn’t what you needed. Part of me knew I needed to go a different way, but the part of me that was so “sure” didn’t know how to listen, probably wouldn’t have even if I heard the message. You can finally recognize all the things that actually made you run, all the real reasons… you were just too “sure” to notice them. But it’s so obvious now, you can’t be hung up on something that you don’t agree with, that makes you feel lessened, that you feel like holds you back. If you stay in those feelings, you become those feelings, you live those feelings, and you give that something a reason to be right. So now that its over, well as over as its ever been, you know you are finally where you need to be. You didnt get there the way you should have, but you have accepted that and you are here and it has finally hit you. You can learn from it and now get on with your life. And you know, you won’t ever make that mistake again.
Sometimes love can be so strong that you neglect your needs and his needs, each others needs…
but nature works its course and if its not all there… it begins to fall apart, and if you cant see why its falling apart, you cant save it.
i felt held back
looked down upon
taken for granted
unappreciated
treated like he was better than me
everything is my fault, nothing was ever his… it all somehow turned around to me
i said sorry too much… and he, not enough.
the life he lives, isnt one i want to be a part of… i dont understand how you can live your life those ways…
he would ask for the truth but he couldnt handle the truth
He is no longer a part of my life, I am the most at peace, most confident, and happiest that I have been in a long time.
That process took about 2yrs…. way too long. I hope this is helpful or you can learn from my mistakes.