Advice, Dating Online Personals

Insecurity in a Relationship

There are few key elements in any relationship that can produce harmony. These fundamental elements include love, like (yes, like), respect, understanding and trust. The element that can really break a relationship, however, is the lack of trust. It is a foundational ingredient that, when missing, can cause conflict and failure in all the other parts of a relationship.

So, where does trust come from? Well, first and foremost, each person in a relationship is an individual. As individuals, they have had childhoods, teenage years and, depending on their age, possibly many adult years behind them when they enter a relationship. Whether it is nature or nurture, each person has a set of attributes and experiences affect the child-like trust that each one of us is born with. But, if those experiences taint or destroy one of the partners’ ability to trust, this can cause tremendous problems. The, you combine each individual’s attributes and experiences with the complex entity created by the coupling of two human beings, what you might call the relationship entity, and you have three interconnected realms that are in need of trust.

Looking at each individual, we can see that trust in them comes from a number of factors. The first is how they were raised at home. Did they have two parents? Were they in a split home? Did their parents love them? Of course, did they love their parents? These relationships at home are critical to examine to see of trust has been eroded. How was their school life? As they evolved to high school, were they in a respectful peer group playing a positive role? Or, were they in a bad peer group or played a submissive role? Or, did they have no friends at all? Overall, did they develop positive self-esteem and relationships in their youth? Then, we look at the individual’s experiences as a teen and a young adult. Were they hurt a lot? Hurt emotionally, or hurt physically? Did they have bad relationships? Did they have bad breakups or experience infidelity or cheating? These are all keys to finding out what things may have caused an individual’s trust level to erode. And, depending on the level of their trust, or lack of, they will enhance or taint a relationship to varying degrees.

Then, when two people are in a relationship, we can look at the relationship self. This is, in fact, a separate entity but is heavily influenced by the individual selves that have combined to create the lover’s union. When looking for the cause of troubles in a relationship, one should first look to the individuals and then examine the relationship itself.

Relationships are built upon trust. The idea that you believe that your partner will commit to you and not involve themselves with the other six billion persons on this earth is a big leap of faith and trust. That trust comes from the two individual’s minds and hearts. But, they must create a relationship trust, going beyond their personal self, to have a lasting love. And, that trust encompasses a number of critical areas in the mutual partnership. You must trust your partner in the area of fidelity. You must believe that they will not cheat on you. This is one of the most critical types of trust. You must believe that your partner will not steal from you. You must also believe that your partner will not try to physically hurt you. You must believe that your partner will not psychologically hurt you. You must believe that your partner will not emotionally hurt you in any way. Most relationships evolve deep emotional ties as they grow. This can create a fear in the partners that they may get hurt, very hurt. If the trust has eroded in the individual or events have caused the relationship trust to have diminished, you may find that your relationship cannot get beyond a certain level.

There are many types of trust, both individual and relationship-based. If you are having insecurity in your relationship, you should stop to examine your relationship at both an individual and a relationship level. By dissecting both levels for trust issues, you can eliminate the insecurity and have a long, trusting, loving romance. And, that is what love deserves.