Advice, Dating Online Personals

Women Spy More Than Men

In an age where relationships are being built on very shallow foundations like looks and money, it is no wonder that there is a lot of insecurity in many modern relationships. It seems that people meet, sleep together and even move in together on very shaky foundations. The reasons may seem solid at the time: the sex is really good - I think it’s love, he’s so good looking all my friends will love him, she’s so much fun spending all her trust fund money on me. But, true love’s foundation is so much more than that. It is a multi-faceted foundation where trust is at the rampart or base. And, when there’s a lack of trust, not only do things fall apart in the end. There’s a lot of spying that goes on during the relationship because of the insecurities that abound.

Now, what is spying, you ask? Well, spying is not necessarily buying surveillance equipment and bugging out your house like a Watergate hotel room. It can be more subtle than that and many times, involves mild eavesdropping or quietly picking up the other phone line. Spying in a relationship can be defined as any activity that involves finding out what your partner is saying or doing, outside of asking them directly. Now, this does not mean checking on your partner when they are driving home in a snow storm. That kind of inquisitiveness is quite normal and, hopefully, expected. But, what is on your mind when your partner is out of the house? Do you wonder if they are seeing someone? Or, do you wonder about that man or women they work with at their office? And, where does your worry leave you? What activities do you engage in to satisfy your curiosity? If you do anything to keep an eye on your partner, you are spying and there is a trust deficiency in your relationship.

Now, what tools are available to spy if you decide to keep an eye on your partner? Well, in the age of information and communication, you have to spy your partner’s communication and find their information store. A lot of times their information store is their computer’s hard drive or email box, which takes you into their communication realm, as well. These realms are so intertwined that they hard to separate these days. In the communication realm, the major forms used today are phone, email and internet, fax, and letters. There is software out there to allow you to spy on all internet related communication. And, if you are smart, you can figure out how to tap phone calls, as well.

More interesting than the tackiness of spying, however, is whether men or women harbor greater distrust. One could speculate for a long time as to which of the fairer sexes worried and, thereby, spied more. Well, it turns out that women spy more than men, believe it or not. Five percent more women than men have spied on their partners, with men coming in at 25% and 30% of women admitting to doing the surveillance thing. Further, it turns out that 34% of men said in a recent survey that spying wasn’t even their style; only 20% of women said this.

The funny thing is that almost a quarter of all women polled admitted that, while spying, they found incriminating evidence that ended their relationship. Only 14% of men responded similarly.

So, in a world of relationships built on shaky foundations, spying and distrust may be more prevalent than we care to admit. The good new, though, is that we can eliminate this if we have trust, real trust, in our partner. And, how do we do this? We must ensure that our relationship is built on love’s solid foundation. This foundation includes trust, caring and understanding, and most importantly, communication. Build your relationship on this solid foundation and your insecurities will vanish and you will have a love like you’ve never known.