Advice, Dating Online Personals

Relationships and Expectations

Suppressed expectations are often the cause of breakups in relationships. All too often, partners don’t tell what they want out of their relationship and just wait for their significant other to observe their needs. Even in the closest of relationships, mind reading is not a fair thing to expect of each other. Expectations need to clearly be defined in relationships.

For example, someone may be a very giving type of person and have certain expectations in return from their partner without telling them about it. If their partner does not respond in the ways that the giver was hoping, they end up feeling hurt and betrayed. Such a situation is not really fair to the receiver of the giving gestures, as they are expected to respond a certain way without being informed of this. This is where the unfair expectations of mind reading, comes into the picture.

Even in a situation where there is mutual give and take in the relationship, there is still a risk of breakup if what each person gives to the relationship is not what the other wants or needs. If a couple does not share the same expectations, they may breakup and leave the relationship unsatisfied and unhappy.

Conflicts can be avoided if each person states their expectations to each other clearly and finds out if they are compatible expectations. This is the give and take that each person expects of the other needs to be clearly spelled out. In the case of new relationships, this sort of directness in stating expectations is often difficult but as time progresses, it will be a necessity so that the relationship will last.

Something else that causes a lot of couple’s grief is when one person expects the other person to behave or respond in the same way as they do to something. People are different and therefore they respond differently to the same things. This is just something that couples need to understand. It is not fair to be upset with your partner for not reacting the same way towards something as you do. You are two people with two different perceptions on things. Of course you will have common things between you but each person does have a unique perception on things.

Something else that couples should know is that it is a sign of dependency to expect a lot from others. If a person is lacking in confidence, they will depend on others to fill a void in themselves. If personal needs are not met, people with poor confidence levels become dependent on others and have high expectations of them.

The sad part of it is that people run away from those who unrealistically high expectations of them. Emotional dependency is wrongfully providing a sense of completeness in the person. Nobody wants to feel the excessive dependency of another person. The solution for someone who is experiencing dependency and lack of confidence is to make ones own life more interesting and satisfying. It is important to acknowledge that we are all different. We can only have fair expectations of another person and these expectations need to be expressed and understood mutually.