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Body Language of the Sexes

Body language is a broad term for forms of communication using body movements or gestures commonly branded as “body attitudes” instead of, or in addition to, voice communications. In other words, what you can tell about someone’s mood or disposition can be intrepreteted from the expressions on ones face, the way they are standing or sitting, and other subtle gestures.

Often the mannerisms of men and women differ from each other so the advert mix signals when communicating without words - a little advice.

Body Language of Women

Have you ever been interested in a woman and tried to approach her? You think that she is showing signs that she is interested in you, too. You approach her thinking that your interpretation of her feelings are genuine. As you get closer, however, and go to introduce yourself, she frowns and turns away. You think, did I read her wrong? Chances are you did. And, you did because you are not adept at reading body language. In fact, most men are not. But, not to fear; this article will give you some pointers for your next encounter with the opposite sex.

Body language, sometimes called non-verbal communication, is actually responsible for over 60% of all our human communication. Words are only actually about 7%. And, since men and women communicate differently, you need to know specifically which gender you are trying to read. In fact, women have over three times more area of their brain devoted to reading these types of cues.

So, how do you read a woman’s body language. What indicators can you look for? Well, there are certain key elements to look for that can help you immensely when you want to know what a woman is really communicating, whether the conversation revolve around trust issues or you just want to know if he is flirting with you.

Believe it or not, women are more uptight than men. They are more “closed” in their demeanor. This is the byproduct of generations of conditioning and we can’t judge and say that their ways are wrong. They are just different from men’s.

Our culture raises girls to be more reticent and keep their body “closed”, so to speak. So, what does this mean in practice. Well, women tend to keep their arms close to their bodies. They almost always keep their legs crossed, as well. Even if their legs are not crossed, their knees are touching. Men are different. They take more space and have their legs seldom crossed. They are also loose with their arms. If a man sits on a couch next to a woman, usually, the man puts his arm around her and she, with her arms and legs close to her body, snuggles under the man’s arm.

So, how can this help men in reading a woman’s body language? Well, if you are conversing with a woman and she changes any one of these body cues, watch out. If her arms come away from her body or her legs move apart, she is probably going to be shifting her attitude. She is uncomfortable with something you said or did. Women tend to lean forward when they are conversing. If you are communicating with a women and she leans back, that’s also a sign that she is uncomfortable or getting angry.

When standing, women do not tend to lean as much as men. If they do, they also lean at a very small angle. If a woman leans, or leans at an exaggerated angle, something is changing in her. If she also folds her arms, you should think about what is causing her to change her outward attitude.

When it comes to romance and dating, body language can be critical in determining the success or failure of a date, or your relationship.

If we start with the face, you will notice that women tend to stay focused the face of a person who is talking, watching for emotional cues. So, it is important to stay focused on a woman’s face without seeming to be staring a hole through her.

And, if a woman is interested in you, her eyes will catch yours and she will look at you intensely for a few moments. She may raise her eyebrows but that is more a trait of men. So, when you get that intense and interested gaze, know that there is interest there. And, look for a woman who tries to show you more of her eyes. The whites of a woman’s eyes are something she considers sexy so if she inadvertently looks up and to one side, she is interested in you and exposing more of herself to you. Also, if she finds you interesting, she will move her eyes back and forth from one of your eyes to the other.

Hair is another intimate item that a woman considers sacred. If a women is interested in you, she will immediately think about her appearance; women are conditioned this way. The first thing that many women do, knowing that a man of interest is looking at them, is play with their hair. It may be a finger comb to straighten her hair or a twirling of the end of her hair. She may even flip a piece of her hair up revealing her ear or use her finger to force her hair on one side behind her ear. This opens up the face and allows a man to see more of her. When you see something like this, you definitely have her attention and interest.

Some women will toss their head to one side and throw their hair back. This is a sign that they are interested or looking for attention.

Women consider their skin to be an intimate part, as well. They only show skin on their body if they are interested, and comfortable. Have you ever gone to a restaurant with a female colleague and she takes off her jacket to reveal short sleeves. Then, she begins to talk to you with the palms of her hands and exposed wrists. Well, that is a good sign and you need to recognize what she is saying.

The hips are another area of female body language that is used to show interest in a man (or get attention). If a woman is walking to the bathroom or past your location and she is moving her hips with an exaggerated sway or in a sexy, powerful manner, she is sending a signal to which you must respond.

And, her legs are another powerful communication tool for non-verbal communication. Women tend to cross their legs when they sit. She will tend to turn her knees away from you, initially, because she is not wanting to be forward. But, if she turns her knees towards you, you have entered her intimate zone of trust, and possibly arousal, and you have a green light to pursue intimacy further.

Feet are another area of communication. When standing, if a woman points her feet towards, and even moves one towards you, she is attracted to you. If she is sitting cross-legged and begins to extend the toe of the leg on top towards you, she wants to be close to you. If she let’s her shoe dangle off her foot, that is a clear sign of a desire for intimacy.

So, for men who are trying to understand the body language of women, whether in general or in the realm of flirting, romance and relationships, use some of these guidelines as means to understand what a woman is really saying. She is saying more with her body than with her voice.

Body Language of Men

There are many differences between men and women. None, however, are more apparent, though, to both sexes, than communication differences. But, there are many different ways in which we communicate. Believe it or not, over 60% of all our communication is done, not through the mouth but, through the body. Body language is the most powerful part of our dialogue with others and the most critical factor in determining what others “hear” about what we are saying.

For women, men can be confusing creatures. They seem simple enough and their body language seems telltale. But, despite their seeming simplicity, men are sometimes hard to read.

There’s the story of a women who asks her husband, “Honey, you wouldn’t cheat on me, would you?” As the husband attempts to answer, she hopes to read his response, from his face to his stance. But, the husband does nothing out of the ordinary. He leans against the well at his usual angle, his face keeps its usual stoic look, his eyes look straight at hers and then down to the ground for a moment as he shakes head. He look up again at her and says, “Of course not, honey, you should know that.” She doesn’t know what to make of this seemingly normal behavior.

So, what should women read from a man’s body language? Well, there are certain key elements to look for that can help a woman know exactly what a man is really communicating, whether the conversation revolve around trust issues or you just want to know if he is flirting with you.

In general, men tend to be more relaxed than women. Because our culture still raises girls to believe that they should be reticent and keep their body closed, women tend to have their arms close to their bodies and their legs crossed. Men, on the other hand, will tend to sit with their legs open and their arms will frequently be draped over the back of a sofa or sticking out to the side. Men also tend to stand with their feet further apart and, when leaning, will lean at a larger angle. If any of this behavior changes, then you know that there is something going on in your man’s mind. He is telling you something with his body that you should be noticing.

And, when it comes to romance and dating, there are certain things that a woman should look for in a man that will help determine his interest or understanding of any messages you are sending.

Starting with the face, you may notice his eyebrows flash. This means that they will raise when his gaze meets yours. They may not stay there but that initial raising means that you have peaked his interest. If you do happen to talk or have a passing conversation, his eyebrows may raise up and stay there and his look may become one of awe or intrigue. He finds you not only very beautiful but very interesting.

His nostrils may flare, as well. This is usually a sign that he has been aroused by you and you are definitely appealing to him at some, or many, levels.

Many men will inadvertently look you over from head to toe (or at least head to breast). They may not mean to be overly sexual but your form may appeal to a man and he wants to “take in” your whole shape. Men love the womanliness of a woman’s body and this is a definite sign of interest. Of course, if his eyes scan your body like a sex-hungry fiend, you can rest assured he has only one thing on his mind. A quick, casual glance, however, is many times done only as a sign of admiration.

Men will also do other things with their bodies or their clothing. Sometimes referred to as preening, you may see a man smooth or mess up his hair as approach. He may straighten his tie, fix his collar or brush dust or lint of his clothes (even if there may be none there).

Have you ever gone into a bar or restaurant and met a man’s gaze? As you do, he reaches up and rubs his face or touches his chin. That is a definite sign of interest because that man is contemplating the feelings that have been aroused inside himself.

When sitting men tend to lean backwards. If a man begins to lean towards you and talk, he has left his comfort zone and is reaching out to you. If he spreads his legs or has them open quite wide, watch out, he is presenting you with all the goods and leaving it up to you to make a decision. He may even perch on the edge of his seat.

Some men will roll up their sleeves or put their hands on their hips when they are sending body messages to a woman. Certain women would find this appealing; some might not. But, is something to watch for.

And, if a man is playing with a cylindrical object such as a glass or a salt shaker, he is thinking about the roundness of the female body and is fantasizing about holding you or your body parts. It’s a good sign, though, that he is interested.

Finally, a man may use his hand to touch you during conversation. While this can be innocent, it is many times used by a man to judge a woman’s response to his touch. If you don’t seem to mind or even touch him back, he will try to get closer, guaranteed.

So, male body language is simpler than a woman’s but still not always easy to decipher. Using some of the guidelines here, you will now have a little more insight into what a man is trying to tell you with his non-verbal communication. Because body language is over 60% of all communication, understanding these cues will help you to understand men and, in couples, hopefully reduce any miscommunications that arise. While not an exact science, body language can unlock a completely new method of understanding men.