Advice, Dating Online Personals

Spending Time with Age Difference

I loved to walk and found out that Will did also. We decided to walk along one of the trails near our apartment buildings and walked at least two or three miles. We talked about everything: music we liked, favorite authors, favorite foods and to my surprise we had a lot of commons interests.

I was surprised when our walk had brought us back in front of Will’s place. He asked me if I wanted to come up and, until that moment, I had no intention of going up to his place. I had a feeling where it would lead and I really did not want to complicate either of our lives. He waited patiently while I turned his invitation over in my mind wondering what had gotten into me. After a couple of minutes, I nodded. We were quiet during the ride in the elevator and I could feel my heart pounding and my hands were sweating.

After entering Will’s apartment our conversation became awkward. Will set me at ease by offering to fix me a cup of tea and we just sat in his living room and chatted about movies we’d seen and TV shows we watched.

I think I might have kissed him first and inevitably we ended up in his bedroom. Will insisted later to friends that that was my intention all along but until I said that I would go upstairs with him, I had not the slightest notion to ever sleep with him again.

Over the next few months, Will and I spent a lot of time together. I also dated a couple of other guys off and on but no one could make me laugh the way that Will did. No one at work knew what was happening. I’m sure a few suspected but we tried to keep everything quiet - my idea.

I found Will to be funny, charming, and very attentive. Not like some of the guys that I had dated that was my own age. He was very interested in what I had to say and what I wanted to do when we went out. I took careful note of my likes and my dislikes. He was a fantastic cook - an art I had never mastered and he loved discovering what I liked and didn’t like and loved introducing me to foods I had never tried before. I found my finicky food habits were disappearing.

We attended movies and concerts together. He even took me to an Elvis musical. We had front row seats for that and I was taken aback when the Las Vegas Elvis motioned for me to join him on stage and sang “Can’t Help Falling In Love With You” to me while he wrapped his sweat soaked scarf around my head. I thought “Oh My God!! Did Will arrange this?” I wasn’t sure whether it was just coincidence or not.

I loved spending time with him but had not even thought about falling in love with him. After all, he was the same age as my mother.

Most people at work still did not know that we were seeing each other, although I did confide in my boss and another friend about our friendship. I never thought of it as a relationship exactly. We were just two people enjoying each other’s company. Weren’t we?

One day after work, over drinks at our neighborhood bar, Will took my hand and said, “I think I am falling in love with you”.

To my horror, I actually choked on my drink and watched it spray all over him. I couldn’t believe his words and speechless, struggled to find words to respond.

“I thought we were just having fun”/

“So did I. I had no intentions of ever feeling this way about someone again. This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

I didn’t know what to say. “Can’t we just leave things the way that we are? Why does anything have to change?”

Will replied that nothing had to change but I felt that it already had.

I have little memory of the rest of the evening. I think we finished our drinks and we went out for dinner as planned but I ended up not spending the night with Will but went home alone saying I felt a migraine coming on.

I’m not sure why the thought of Will following in love with me sent me into such a panic but it did. Was it the 17 year age difference! He was a lot of fun, but was there any future for us? What exactly was he implying when he said he was falling in love with me? What exactly did that mean? Did that mean he wanted a relationship? Marriage? He wasn’t exactly what I had in mind for my knight in shining armor that was going sweep me off of my feet and take me away somewhere where we would live happily ever after.

That weekend, I called an old friend from back home and asked if I could come for a visit. I knew I had plenty of holidays and I just wanted to get out of town for a few days and think about what was happening.

Will didn’t ask many questions when I told him I was going out of town, but told me to call him, day or night, if I wanted to talk. I agreed and we said our good-byes.

I hadn’t been back to my hometown for a while and I hadn’t seen my friend, Terri, since her wedding a couple of years before. Her husband, Richard, made himself scarce while I was there giving us plenty of time to catch up.

It was just like old times. We talked all night the first night I was there about books, and movies, and how marriage was treating her and what was going on with my love life. I told her about Will and a couple of the other guys I had dated.

Over a second glass of wine, Terri asked, OK Barbra what gives?”

“What are you talking about?”

“What are you doing here?”

“Can’t I come and spend a few days with an old friend?”

“Sure, any time but you’ve been acting skittish since you got here and I have a feeling it has to do with this Will you keep going on about.”

So I finally sat down and told her the whole story. How we met, how old he was, that I had been sleeping with him, and that he told me he was in love with me. I tried to explain that I liked him and that he made me laugh, but love? I don’t think so.