Advice, Dating Online Personals

Building a Solid Relationship

When you first meet someone, there will always be that “getting to know you” phase. It’s not a good idea to immediately begin attempting to build a romantic relationship while you are getting to know one another. It’s important to become friends before you attempt to build something romantic. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t form a dating relationship—after all, that is how you will learn to know each other—but you want to keep it at a dating stage until you learn to know one another first.

Where many relationships fail is when a couple attempts “too much too soon.” Think of it this way—the best friends make the best lovers. What that means is you should become friends first and let what is meant to be happen. Not everyone is meant to be your life partner or soul mate. You will meet many people throughout life, but only some of those will be romantic interests. On the other hand, those that do develop into romantic relationships will do so at the right moment.

As you are building a relationship, do not see it as a way to meet Mr. or Miss Right but just let it flow as it will. You don’t want to force a relationship into being something it is not, and if you attempt to speed the process, you will fail as will the relationship. Another thing to consider is that what may seem right to you may not be for the other person at that time. That doesn’t mean the relationship will never go beyond the dating stage but rather that you cannot force what isn’t there. There is no special formula to tell you when the time is right, or if it will ever be right; you have to follow your instincts.

Once you know the relationship is going to proceed beyond the dating stage, you want to work on building it but do it slowly. Going from friendship to dating to romance should be a gradual transition, and the romance stage should be the longest and the most enjoyable. Romantic love is a special kind of bond that you want to form, but you cannot do that if you allow things to develop too quickly. Once you’re past the dating stage, allow yourself to enjoy getting to know each other in a romantic atmosphere.

Many couples also make the mistake of becoming overly possessive during the dating stage. Until there is a commitment to a relationship, you are not entitled to demand details of the other person’s activities nor is he or she entitled to know yours. Making such demands during the dating stage is sure to be disastrous, and the result will be an end to the relationship before it begins. Most importantly, do not use any information provided about past relationships during the dating stage as fuel for arguments at a later time. Take the time to work on the relationship, and allow it to develop into the depth you want it to be.