Sometimes we attempt to overlook the obvious signs that a relationship has gone sour because we don’t want to admit it. This can be for many different reasons that range from being in a comfort zone to not wanting to admit failure. Other reasons may be that the couple truly cares for one another, but there is just something that makes the relationship unable to work. Whatever the reasons may be, you need to learn to recognize the signs so that you can avoid as much discomfort as possible when the two of you walk away. Delaying the inevitable is only going to make things more difficult.
One of the most obvious signs that a relationship is over is the desire to spend less time apart. The couple may begin spending more time with family and friends alone rather than with their dating partner. Of course, if this is something you have done throughout the relationship, this may be less obvious and more difficult to detect. However, you should be able to detect other signs such as staying out later on these outings than in the past or not calling to let your partner know you have returned. You may also choose to call just so your partner doesn’t worry but not spend time to discuss the events of the day as you once did. These outings may also increase in frequency as the relationship continues to decline.
As your relationship declines, you may find you are spending less time on the telephone. When you leave a message, your partner may take longer to return the call if he or she returns it at all. Instead of going out and enjoying yourselves, time together may be limited to sitting around watching television, an activity that doesn’t require much interaction. Dates may begin to include friends so that you don’t have to attempt to engage in meaningful conversation. You may also find yourself going to more public places such as ballgames and other sporting events you never attended before just to avoid too much close contact.
When you find yourselves arguing over stupid things, you know it’s time to move along your separate ways. Certainly every couple has times when they are going to pick a fight “just because,†but when it becomes frequent, you know that something is seriously wrong with the relationship. That is the point when you need to sit down and talk it over and decide if the relationship is really dead or if you are just on a plateau as sometimes happens.
Also, if you have been together long enough that your relationship includes intimacy, and that suddenly becomes less frequent or non-existent, you know you are truly on a downhill slide. Even within marriage a change in the frequency of intimate relations is a sure sign of severe problems within the relationship. When you put everything together, you have to look at the complete picture and know when it is time to say goodbye and walk away.