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Attraction Guides

May 30th, 2007

Romance and Emotional Attraction

Romance and Emotional Attraction Emotional attraction is about feeling a deep emotional connection with another person. In a romantic context, emotional attraction can be an equal or greater attraction than physical attraction. In an ideal situation, couples connect on several levels simultaneously and this contributes to a mutual love beyond comprehension. When couples are attracted physically, emotionally and intellectually, their relationship will most definitely intensify.

Romance and Emotional Attraction When a couple is emotionally attracted, there is a very powerful bond between them. The bond created through emotional attraction is very obvious to people outside of the relationship. The visible signs of emotional attraction include a certain look that the couple gives each other. Some people call this the look of love. It is a sort of passionate and focused gaze, which communicates an emotional message to each other. The emotion of love is shared in this type of attraction and speaks louder than words and maybe even louder than actions. The look of love is one that says it all.

Emotional attraction combined with physical attraction almost leaves a couple in a state of bliss so powerful that they are nearly intoxicated with love. Emotional attraction to the point of intoxication is not a common type of feeling. Feelings of love and emotional connection are almost too much to comprehend in such a situation. A mere touch of your partner’s hand in this case may be enough to make you feel weak with passion.

To be attracted emotionally means to be attracted to a person’s emotions in an innocent, yet passionate way. This type of attraction means that you are in love with the way a person feels and you deeply relate to them on this level. When they are sad, you are sad. When they are hurting you are hurting. When they are happy, so are you. It is almost like you mirror the emotions of the person who you attracted to. You actually share their emotions and this makes the two of you deeply connected in an almost spiritual way.

Romance does not always involve emotional attraction. Some people are just physically or intellectually attracted and this creates different sort of bonds between people. Oddly enough, a couple can be physically intimate, yet not connect on an emotional level at all. This can be a sad realization if one person is looking for that deeper emotional connected feeling while the other is content with only the connections of the physical side of things.

Finally, emotional attraction can be very sexy in a relationship context. For example, the intimacy of sensing and relating to the emotions of another person, as if they were your own creates a deep bond. When one person cries, the other consoles them, as if they themselves were crying. When one person laughs, the other laughs and shares in the same joy. Couples who are emotionally attracted enjoy a connection that not everyone can share. If you find yourself emotionally attracted to someone, chances are you will be attracted on other levels too. Be receptive to sharing the emotions of another person and you may be surprised just how attracted you will feel and to whom you feel this attraction towards.


May 28th, 2007

Is There a Right Way to Love?

Right Way to Love There are so many different interpretations of what love is that one might wonder if there is a right way to love? Actually, there is no correct way to love because love means so many different things to different people. What may be an act of love for one couple may not even come close to what love is to another couple.

Right Way to Love Love is unique to every individual and every couple. The things that a couple does for each other in a relationship to express love, is very personal to them. Of course there are some general, common beliefs about what love is but when it comes to the details on how to love, this is unique to each individual and each couple for that matter.

For instance, a couple might do random acts of kindness for each other to express their love for one another. In another relationship, acts of kindness here and there may not be enough. Often, couples have expectations of each other, which need to be satisfied by their partner for love to exist between them in the fullest sense. When couples are in a relationship and one partner doesn’t meet the needs of the other, there may be tension between them. Love is such a delicate balance of give and take it seems. What is expected of a loving relationship various among people.

It is amazing actually, when no two people are the same, that love can exist as it does. It must be that people are attracted to their opposites in many situations. Not to say that couples don’t share similarities, but they certainly are not the same. When people are not the same, they think, feel and behave differently about different things. It is a rather large accomplishment actually to find love in relationships full of differences. The key is the appreciation of differences rather than the criticism of them.

Issues arise when people in relationships go into the relationship expecting their partner to think, feel and behave as they do or as a past partner did. This sort of unrealistic expectation is the perfect way to unhappiness in a relationship. This goes back to appreciation of each other’s differences and individuality. Some of the happiest couples are those who respect each other’s differences. Not to say that people in relationships should be pardoning and respecting their partner for differences in thoughts, feelings or behaviors which are destructive to the relationship. There is a need to mutually use discretion in drawing the line as to what differences are workable in the relationship and which ones are going to cause it to fail. Trust your instincts on this one and you should be fine.

In conclusion, if a person is seeking the right way to love in their relationship, they just need to trust their heart and mind on this one. Go with what your heart tells you and with what you know about the likes and dislikes of your partner. Be emotionally and mentally in tune with the one you love and you should have no problem finding the right way to love in your relationship.


May 14th, 2007

Chemistry of Love

Chemistry of Love A relationship that involves an intense chemistry between two people is extremely powerful! Sometimes chemistry is the reason that the relationship starts, while other times chemistry is discovered after the relationship is initiated. When there is a relationship that lacks chemistry, it tends to lead to a different kind of love or a more platonic friendship.

Chemistry of Love Chemistry between two people can be described as a type of biological electricity that gives the couple a rush of passion when they are together. Sometimes the chemistry is so powerful between a couple, that it can be mutually felt when they are just in each other’s presence and are not even touching. It is this non-tangible type of chemistry that is the most powerful of all, as it just intensifies the closer the two people get to each other. When such a couple’s hands touch, there is an instant biological response, which almost makes them feel like they are weightless and floating.

True, powerful chemistry is emotionally intoxicating for the couple involved. Couples that are this intensely attracted find it hard to pull away from each other in order to address other aspects of their day to day life. It is almost as though the couple is experiencing a huge amount of passion toward each other, which takes them to a personal world of their own, filled with the deepest of attraction toward each other.

Although chemistry is a very strong feeling between couples, it can exist without real love. Chemistry without love is something that can be emotionally hurtful unless both people are on the same page about the relationship. Love is not all about the biological experiences between two people. Love and compassion is expressed in many ways. A couple can deeply love each other but lack the intense chemistry that some people are fortunate enough to experience. No one type of relationship is any better, they are just different.

Often, a couple who lacked chemistry in the beginning discovers it over time. This is a gradual type of love, which takes time to mature and grow stronger and stronger. This sort of love is like when a person is making a fire in the fireplace and to grow from a small spark to a glowing, vibrant flame. The evolution of such a love can be filled with lots of ups and downs, which make the relationship stronger over time. It can be a challenging and yet very beautiful experience for both people. Sometimes it is the difficult times that make a person appreciate the good times when they have them.

Chemistry is not needed to be in love, but if you have it, it is often a very powerful love that takes the couple to emotional levels that exceed anything imaginable. The key is to be open to feel and experience your true emotions. Sometimes people are so stressed and worried about so many things that they don’t loosen up enough to feel a chemistry that could be there. Release you inhibitions and feel whatever attractions are there to feel. You may be suddenly surprised by the fact that the person, who was only your friend for so long, is actually your soul mate and the chemistry between you takes you through the roof! Don’t be so distracted that you overlook the obvious. Sometimes what you are looking for it right in front of you!


April 23rd, 2007

How to tell someone that you are attracted to them

How to tell someone that you are attracted to them There are several creative ways to tell someone that you are attracted to him or her. Ideally, before doing this, you should make sure that the person who you are attracted to is available first. This is just a sign of respect for both the other person and yourself. Once you know that your love interest is single, get your creative wheels turning and select the best way to express yourself.

How to tell someone that you are attracted to them Some people are not shy and feel comfortable with sharing their feelings over a coffee or a dinner out somewhere together. Other people are more private and want to express their heartfelt feelings in a more private place like while walking on a nature trail or maybe at home. If openly talking about your feelings is not your style; maybe a letter or an email would be better. Some people express themselves better in a letter than talking in person.

Other ways to get your feelings out there would be through creative romantic gestures. For instance, if a man is interested in a woman, he could send her a single rose or a bunch of wild flowers with a card expressing how he feels about her. On the other hand, if a woman is interested in a man, she could get him a small gift that he would like, relating to his interests. Small gifts express feelings of attraction and love for another person.

Another thing that either a man or a woman can do to express attraction is to prepare a romantic dinner at home with good food, fine wine, candles and music. A homemade, romantic evening can really express love for someone. Also a weekend away to a romantic place is a way to express feelings for someone. Simply spend more and more time with the one you are attracted to, doing things that you both love to do and see what happens!

Notes of affection are also well received generally. For example, place a romantic note in a shoe or pocket and wait for them to find it. You may find yourself a little anxious as you wait for his or her response, but it is a fun way to say that you like or love someone. Plus, notes are nice keepsakes for couples to have if they end up in a loving relationship and they want to reflect their romantic relationship’s beginning.

Another romantic gesture is to meet someone for lunch with a picnic that includes good food and a nice dessert. You could meet your loved one at noon and drive to where you can see the water and share a romantic picnic lunch together. This makes a great impression on a person and also makes an interesting romantic break in the middle of both of your workdays.

These ideas are just a few of the ways in which you can tell someone that you are attracted to them. Body language is a very obvious form of expressing your feelings. The innocence of a warm smile, reaching for someone’s hand or even giving a loving hug can really say a lot when it comes to showing attraction. If the attraction is mutual, you may even share your first kiss together and a new relationship may develop. You cannot be shy to express your feelings of attraction to someone because you may miss out on the best relationship you could ever have. Take a chance and express yourself!


March 29th, 2007

Emotional Attraction

Emotional Attraction The most successful relationships are those that involve emotional attraction.

Emotional Attraction Although physical attraction is important in many ways, as time goes on, looks fade and unless there are other forms of attraction to nurture the relationship, it will not work. In addition to emotional and physical attraction, intellectual attraction plays a very important role.

Those who are emotionally attracted tend to have stronger relationships. Couples that connect on an emotional level, relate to each other better. Emotional attraction is a deeper form of attraction than physical attraction, as it extends past the times when looks are everything. When you see an older couple in love after 50-60 years of marriage, chances are they are attracted emotionally and intellectually in addition to the youthful physical attractions. In fact, emotional and intellectual attraction can often sustain physical attraction for a lifetime.

You can tell if a couple is emotionally attracted by the way they interact with each other. Emotionally attracted people find it easy to talk for hours and just enjoy being with each other regardless of what they are doing together. Emotionally attracted people care about the feelings and thoughts of the other in a very sincere way. After all is said and done in the realm of physical intimacy, those who are emotionally attracted, hold each other long after the heat of passion has ended. Emotional attraction is that extra dimension of love that makes it last forever.

For many people, attraction depends on a person’s body language, emotions and attitude. Another critical aspect of attraction includes self-confidence and attitude toward various aspects of life and also their view on relationships. Nobody is attracted to anyone who demonstrates really introverted body language. To have a very closed look in your body language discourages people from approaching you. Body Language needs to create a look that you can be approached. It can be the simple difference between smiling or not. Also, negative emotions push people away so it is important to keep an upbeat and positive emotional attitude. A person should shine with an heir of confidence to attract people on emotional and other levels.

A person needs to attract someone using a positive attitude about relationships also. For instance, if a person goes around acting like they will never have a relationship that will work, chances are they will not. It is often just a matter of what a person believes in, that affects what happens to them in their lives. Attitude is so critical to success in many things.


March 23rd, 2007

Opposite Personality Types in Love

Opposite Personality TypesAre you attracted to a person who has the opposite personality of you? If so, you are not alone. Many people fall in love with someone who is the opposite of themselves in many ways. The different reasons why opposites attract each other can be very interesting.

Opposite Personality TypesSometimes people fall in love with a person who has qualities or characteristics that they admire. An example of this would be a man or a woman who is attracted to someone who they aspire to being like. This person could be an inspiring figure in their life, which they gradually find themselves attracted to romantically. This sort of relationship can be very satisfying and stimulating if both people derive something that they are missing, from each other. Together, a very different couple can feel more complete and therefore very attracted.

Also, when opposites become romantically involved, they can learn to appreciate the differences in each other. Sometimes it is refreshing to be in a romantic relationship with a person who has a different perspective than you on various things. For instance, if two people are looking at a picture of a sandy beach, one person may think of swimming, while the other person may think of rock and shell collecting. It is these types of differences that can make life interesting. If a person can go through life and enjoy different perspectives of the same thing they will get even more meaning out of daily life.

Even with the most opposite personality types, there needs to be some basic common things that will bring you together as a couple. Similarities and differences don’t have to be in any particular proportion for the relationship to work, but there should be a balanced blend of the two in order for the relationship to last.

Another benefit to being in love with your opposite personality type is that you can learn lots of things from each other. For example, one of you may be good at playing piano and can teach the other how to do this. While, the other person may be an excellent chess player and can share their skill with their partner. Having different interests or hobbies can mean that you have an opportunity to learn lots of new things together.

Finally, the most important thing about any relationship between opposites is that you find happiness and love together. You both need to be open minded and willing to see the world through the other’s eyes at times. People are more balanced if they have the capability of having their own perceptions on things while being open enough to appreciate the views of another person whose perception may be different. Opposites do attract and can actually enhance a person’s love life in many ways. Embrace the personality type that is right for you in an intimate, love relationship and enjoy the diversity of life and love together.


March 19th, 2007

Signs of True Love

Signs of True LoveSometimes when you are in a relationship, it is difficult to really know if it is true love or not. Every relationship is so unique and different from each other, but generally speaking there are certain signs that a person can watch for, which reveal true love.

Signs of True LoveOne of the most obvious signs of truly being in love is when people smile most of the time when they are together. A happy heart brings a happy face. If a person is very happy in the presence of their partner, chances are they are truly in love. Keep in mind that this is not just any smile; this is a smile that nearly glows, which expresses peak happiness in both people.

The passage of time is another key for couples who are truly in love. Some couples might find that time stands still while they are together, when it fact, time is flying by. This whole distortion of how time is perceived is a sign of a couple being really in love. It is almost like when the couple is together; they lose track of time and practically disappear into a time zone of their own. The love time zone has no beginning or end; it is just a steady dreamlike state of mutual happiness.

Another sign of true love is when a couple makes each other their priority. There is a lot of work and other obligations, which fill up a person’s day and yet it is a good sign when couples make each other their priority. People should obviously do what they need to do for themselves, but under all this, a deep true love for their partner should be there if it is real love. Part of being in true love of course is to understand each other’s work and obligations so that a good balance is met between these things and the relationship. The key is to make time for the person that you love, as there is a time and place for everything and everyone. Those who are in true love prioritize their partner in this way.

Random acts of love and thoughtfulness are other indications of true love. When there is no special occasion and your partner does something loving or special for you, you know that it is real love. When a person goes that extra mile to express their love, it is a good thing. It does not have to involve giving materialistic gifts but it could simply be a kind and loving gesture or even a loving conversation about how they feel about you. Random acts of love and thoughtfulness could include things like bringing a rose home to you or giving you a card or taking you out for dinner. Just watch for little gestures of love that mean a lot, at times when you least expect it.

Also, you know when a person is in love when they think of you in their plans. For example, if a person is planning to go somewhere for the weekend and they ask their partner if they want to come with them. This thoughtfulness shows true love as it expresses desire for their partner to be part of their activities or time away. Little things like this mean so much!

Finally, you can feel true love in your heart when you are with the right person. Your partner’s hug, kiss and touch are unlike anything you have ever known before. There is no mistaking it when love is for real. Also, there are no doubts for true love. There is a certain mutual confidence in a relationship that is meant to be. True love is powerful and passionate!


March 14th, 2007

Attractions - Sometimes Opposites do Attract sometimes they don’t

AttractionsWhat attracted you to the relationship that you are currently in? There are many things that attract people. Physical attraction is the most popular form of attraction, but there are several other factors that bring people together in romantic ways. A beautiful body can come and go, but a beautiful heart and mind can make a lasting impression beyond the physical things.

AttractionsSpeaking of mind, intellectual attraction is very important for a relationship to work. Couples need to be attracted to each other’s minds. How a person thinks can be very sexy and attractive to another person. What a person says and how they say it, is so critical to there being attraction or not. A person could look like a model but if they are not intellectually stimulating or attractive to the other person, there is not much chance of a lasting relationship. Smart people with intellectual depth are sexy!

Emotional attraction is another form of attraction that is very important for a relationship to thrive. It is essential that a couple can relate and be attracted to each other’s feelings and emotions. Throughout life, there are so many emotional situations. It just makes everything easier if two people are emotionally on the same wavelength and can relate to each other’s feelings about things. Of course, no two people feel exactly the same way about the same things but emotional compatibility is so important.

Social compatibility is another way people can feel attracted. For instance do you and your partner socialize in much the same ways? When you go to a party, do you mingle as a couple or individually or not at all? Do you both have individual and mutual friends that you visit or spend time with on occasion? Do you both keep in touch with friends by email or phone? To be on common grounds in the socializing department makes relationships go much smoother. You or your partner may be either extraverted or introverted personalities in social situations. It would be helpful to know who is who so that your relationship can grow better.

Spiritual compatibility is another way in which people become attracted to each other. For instance two spiritual people could meet and fall totally in love if they share similar spiritual beliefs. With the spiritual bond, couples have a greater chance of their relationship working, as spirituality is such a powerful thing.

Finally, whatever it is that has attracted you to who you are with, acknowledge that thing or assortment of things. You can appreciate what you have more if you know what goes into it. The more understanding that a couple has of the nature of their attraction to each other, the better. Be sure you are going in the right direction for you heart and your mind, in addition to your body. Be true to all those things that matter most to you as you pursue your attraction to a person.

In other words “opposites do attract” and “sometimes opposites don’t”.


March 8th, 2007

Real Love

Real LoveDating life can be very emotionally all encompassing, and it is often very difficult to know when you are really in love. There are so many variables in a relationship between a man and a woman, which a person has to focus on the important concepts, which define love. So what defines love? Let’s look at some important things, which clearly indicate that a person is in love.

Real LoveFirst, to not have thoughts of dating or thoughts of being with another person is a good sign that you are in love. Often a person just senses true love or not. To really be in love, is a feeling a person gets in their heart, mind and gut. Spending day after day with the same person often means you are in love. A true love makes you feel good about you and good about the relationship. When you think about the person who you are dating in a positive light most of the time, chances are you are in love. Nobody is perfect of course but the person, who you are in a relationship with, should be a predominantly positive influence in your life. In exchange, you too should bring a lot of positive things to your partner’s life too.

Another indication of really being in love is if you and your partner talk about the future together. The discussion of marriage and children is a clear indication that the relationship that you are in is serious. In regard to the physical side of things, it is also important to feel sexually attracted and comfortable with the person that you are with. Chemistry needs to be present between the two of you.

When you have a disagreement, are you able to sort things out and positively move on together? Reconciliation skills are very important in a loving relationship. If you are really in love, disagreements will not cause you to throw things away but rather sort things out. Love is the fuel to resolve issues in many cases, if it is real love.

Another way to tell if a person is really in love is if they are smiling all the time. When you think of the person that you are in a relationship with, do you find yourself smiling?

Happy thoughts and memories of your partner, is a very clear indication that you are in love.

When a couple is really in love, they bring out the best qualities in each other. In a way, you make each other shine with happiness and this joy is visible on the outside for others to see and notice. When a relationship is the right one, friends and family are supportive of it and say good things about it. Not that everyone’s opinion is that important but the views of family and friends can certainly influence a relationship in various ways.

Finally, it is important to feel secure and at peace with the person that you are in a relationship with. You should feel certain contentment and joy when you are in the presence of love of your life, regardless of what are doing together. Your togetherness should almost make you feel individually and mutually empowered in all aspects of your life. If you are focused on this person and have no other romantic interests that you want to pursue, you should embrace this relationship and know for certain that it is true love.

There is nothing like real love, as it is like sunshine to the heart, soul and mind.


February 28th, 2007

Finding a Soul Mate

Male BondingHave you found your Soul mate? Believe me, when you do, it will be very obvious. You will be on cloud nine as the expression goes, just going through your day with a smile as big as Texas. To be in love with your soul mate, is practically intoxicating but in a purely natural way. There is no feeling in the world like finding what people call their other half. The feeling of contentment and wholeness, resulting from being in true love, is all encompassing. Love makes life wonderful in all ways.

Soul MateBeing with your soul mate feels as natural as walking on the beach in your bare feet and it is just as relaxing and peaceful too. Your soul mate feels like an extension of yourself. His or her interests simple continue where yours end and this makes life all that much more exciting and interesting. You can enjoy so much together and time will just disappear it seems. There sometimes doesn’t seem like there is enough time in the day to pack in all the things that you want to do together.

One week with your soul mate can be like a year with someone else. There is such a mutual understanding that exists between the two of you that you barely need to open your mouth to talk before the other one knows what you are about to say. Even in silent times, so much is understood between you. This is such a beautiful experience that you will want to be together as much as possible.

When soul mates spend time together it is like two worlds that were originally one, get reunited. Your hands and bodies fit together like jigsaw puzzle pieces. In each other’s embrace you will feel like you are so happy that you are almost flying. Nothing in the world could ever compare to sharing a friendship and a love with your soul mate.

So much happiness and love will enrich your world all the time.

Finally, stay focused on finding your soul mate if you have not already done so. It will be a search for the truest love ever imaginable. I assure you that true love is out there to be discovered. You need to trust your heart and mind as you seek the love of your life. When you find this person, you will wonder where they have been all your life but you must remember that there is a time and place for everything. When you are meant to fall deeply in love, you surely will.


February 25th, 2007

Common Values and Goals in Relationships

Goals in RelationshipsAre you and your loved one on the same page when it comes to values and goals in your relationship? Sometimes it is not until after a relationship gets very involved, does a couple realize that they may not share the same values or goals. It is important at the beginning of a relationship to clearly define what matters to each of you and also what your aspirations are individually and mutually. Couples need to know that they share the same general values and also that they want the same things for the relationship in order for it to work. Let’s evaluate some of the different types of values and goals that people have and assess how these might impact the success of a relationship.

Goals in RelationshipsValues can either bring a couple together or draw them apart if they are not shared. Most people value love, devotion, honesty, integrity, family, friends etc.. On the other hand some people’s values evolve around their work or perhaps their hobbies or social activities. Whatever the case may be with each of you, it is important to define what values and goals you share, so that you can get a good idea if the relationship will work. Keep in mind that differences in interests or preferences should not be confused with differences in values and goals. If is ok to have different interests and preferences in a relationship but issues can arise if a couple are not sharing the same values or objectives in their relationship.

Let’s say that a man or woman is very family-oriented while their partner likes to go downtown all the time to drink and party. This is an obvious clash in values, which will cause a relationship to fail. Not to say that a couple can’t go out and have some good clean fun without each other sometimes, that is only natural and should happen. It is the person who goes downtown and parties all the time and gets drunk while his significant other is without them most of the time. Sometimes it is just a matter of balance between party and responsibilities, combined with showing love and respect for your partner.

On the topic of goals, many couples who are in good relationships want to eventually settle down, buy a house, get married and have a family. Mind you, there are also many relationships in which the couple may not want to marry but rather live together and maybe not have a family. It is not so much about what your goals are but rather that you have the same goals for the relationship as your partner does.

It is the situations where one person wants to marry and the other just wants to live together, which can cause issues. Also the goal of having to have children or not is a topic that a couple should agree on. It is another story, if a couple want children and just can’t have them. It such a case maybe their shared goal becomes wanting to adopt a child together. Again, the more shared goals the couple have, the better the chances of the relationship working.


February 12th, 2007

How Do You Recognize True Love?

Recognize True LoveAre you looking for true love?  The search may seem eternal as one relationship starts and another ends and you find yourself wondering if true love even exists.  There are so many types of people in this world with so many different interests, values and mannerisms. It is not easy to find that special, one person who you are meant to be with.  You look and look and still you can’t find true love.  Maybe you are not looking in the right places.  Perhaps you should evaluate the method of your search to see if you are looking in the wrong places for the love of your life.

True LoveOften people try too hard to find the right person and in doing this they miss noticing whom the right person is, even when they are in front of them.  Sometimes it is necessary to simply be yourself and go about your business.  It seems that only when we stop looking, do we often find what we are looking for.  There is something about being in a state of search, which tends to distract a person from what really is.  By being yourself and by doing things that make you happy as an individual, you shine with a luring charisma, which attracts your true love to you without looking for them.  This is a sort of effortless and magical experience when it happens to you.

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So, suddenly while radiating in your own sense of self and sense of personal peace and happiness, you and your true love’s paths cross.  Even at this moment, it may not be obvious right away that the love of your life is in your midst.  After a short time some very interesting things start to happen in a natural yet powerful way.  You find yourself lost in time and space while in the presence of your true love.  It almost seems like you mutually are sharing in a dreamlike state of blissful peace that you have never known before, combined with a magnetic attraction to be together.  When together, time disappears and days seem like moments, yet those moments are so enhanced with life and meaning. Still at this point, you may not see that true love has embraced you.  All you know is that you want to be with this person and their company nurtures you in so many ways.

You both continue to share long conversations; hours go by like minutes as you soon discover that you are in the presence of your other half.  The search is over and you finally realize that you have found true love.  You fall in love with their mind first and this just enhances the good friendship that you have shared for so long.  Finally your hands touch and you feel a passion and closeness deeper that can be expressed in words.  In the silence, you know deep in your heart you have found your true love and it does exist but only for the right two people.  The magic of true love is deeper than the ocean and has an undefined beginning and never ends. 

Feel peace in knowing that if you have not yet found your true love that soon you should expect to, as there is someone out there for all of us. Just be yourself with all your heart, follow your personal passions and interests and your true love will suddenly appear in your life in a very beautiful way.  Keep in mind that your true love may not be someone new, but rather someone who was there all along whose company suddenly touches your heart and soul in a way that nothing else has. True love is a blessing in which we are all meant to discover when the time and the person are right.


January 28th, 2007

Men and Women Have Different Brains: Brain Sex

Brain SexMen and women perceive the world in significantly different ways, and it is not due to a need to be contrary. There is a rule that governs all things in nature: Form fits function. The brains of men vary in many ways from the brains of women. Language functions, hearing abilities, emotional availability, breadth of attention, spatial abilities, and tasking methods differ a good deal between the genders. These differences can be attributed, at least in part, to the divergent ways in which the brain of each gender is structured and functions. Even sexual stimulation occurs differently in the male brain than in the female brain.

Brain Sex, Men and Women Have Different Brains The brain of men is not superior to the brain of women, nor is it inferior. The brains of each gender are simply different. Think of men and women as two sides of the same coin. One cannot exist without the other, yet they are dissimilar, and tend to compliment one another. To a greater or lesser degree, the differences between the ways men and women react to the world play out daily, and tend to affect relationships between the two genders.

A man’s hearing starts off being less acute than a woman’s, and deteriorates more quickly as he ages. Women are known to chastise a man for not listening, when in fact, he may not be able to hear her as clearly as she thinks he can. Men are less able to tune out background noise than women, and may not be able to focus well on a woman’s voice if she is rattling dishes, or talking over the car radio. If you really want a man to hear what you are saying, it is advantageous to talk about 18 inches from his face, and maintain eye contact with him.

A woman’s brain at rest is about five times more active than a man’s brain when he is engaged in solving a problem. That’s right, women are always thinking, and usually in several directions at once. The corpus callosum, a band of nerves connecting the right and left hemispheres of the brain, is significantly larger in the female brain than in the male brain. This gives women more freedom to quickly switch between right and left brain functions, and to integrate emotions into thinking.

Men have been known to ask women to “just leave it alone,” as if she is able to put her concerns aside and take a respite from worrying about her troubles. In fact, she cannot. A woman’s brain is never off duty. She goes to bed at night, and awakes the next morning with a “to do” list running through her head. She cannot separate herself from her thoughts as a man can, and just “zone out” for a while.

When a woman asks a man what he is thinking, he may utter a one word reply, “Nothing.” Women never believe this statement. Since women don’t have the ability to make their minds go blank, they naturally assume that men don’t possess the ability either. They are wrong. Men can, and do take a respite from the world by simply not attending to the stream of consciousness that runs through their brain. Women, on the other hand, are always paying attention to their thoughts.

Speaking of attention, men tend to focus their attention, and women spray theirs over a large area of their environment. Sometimes it drives women crazy when a man fails to notice certain things like a messy house, or a new hairdo, and men are made equally insane by a woman’s propensity to see every last detail of every last thing. The differences in the ways in which men and women attend to the world lead them to be perfectly suited for different tasking methods.

Men like to perform tasks in a logical, linear, sequential manner, while women are naturally skilled at multi-tasking. A woman will move between several tasks proficiently and work on them all simultaneously. For women, one task always leads to another. Men like to complete a task and then move on to the next one, hopefully without interruption. Interruption, although equally unwanted by women, does not cause them to have to review the work they already accomplished before resuming the task. This may not be true for a man who feels like he “lost his place” when his work is intruded upon.

The old myth that says that women are not as naturally gifted in the areas of math and science as men may not be such a myth after all. The areas in a man’s brain that are fully dedicated to spatial abilities may be already engaged in enhanced language capabilities in the brains of women. This accounts for both a woman’s ability to speak fluently and use a large vocabulary, and a man’s ability to easily read a map, or figure a math problem in his head. This is not to say that women cannot learn to do mental math, or that a man must go through life with a limited vocabulary, but it does imply that men and women have different gifts when it comes to math, science and language, and that men will have to work harder to master language skills, while women will labor more in mastering math and science concepts.

Throughout the ages men have encouraged women to gain more emotional control, and women have urged men to be more emotionally expressive. Again, the different brains of men and women influence the degree to which emotionality is experienced and expressed. In the woman’s brain, the corpus callosum extends into the frontal lobe of the brain where the emotional centers reside. The corpus callosum of men barely touches the frontal lobe of their brain. It could be that a woman’s emotions are more accessible to her than a man’s emotions are to him.

Women integrate their emotions into their thinking, while men seem to be able to separate the two, and remain cool and objective in even the most emotionally evocative situations. While women may appear to be lacking in emotional control from the male point of view, men’s lack of emotionality may be viewed as cold or uncaring by women. Perhaps women experience emotions more strongly than men, and cannot simply shove their feelings aside when dealing with an emotionally charged situation.

While an emotional release such as crying may relieve a woman’s stress, the same may not be true for men. Women report that they usually feel better after a good cry. They feel calmer, and “cleaned out,” as though the tears have dissolved their internal distress, albeit temporarily. Men do not tend to feel better after crying. In fact, they may feel worse, as though they are drowning in self-pity. Urging men to “let it all out” may not be the favor that a woman thinks it is for a man. Indeed, he may grow angry instead of calm after “a good cry.”

Women tend to talk in circles, while a man takes a more linear route to “get to the point.” This “just the facts, ma’am,” approach to communication is challenging for women, while it seems to come easily to men. Women tend to want to tell everything they know about a given situation, while men prefer to limit their responses to the core issue at hand. The average woman uses about 6000 words daily to express her thoughts, while the average man uses only about 2000 words a day to say what he is thinking. This communication difference is the leading cause of divorce today. When queried about what the problem is with the marriage, a woman says, “He never talks to me,” and a man responds with, “She won’t be quiet long enough for me to say anything!”

When it comes to sexual attraction, men tend to be visually stimulated, while women feel sexual stirrings when a man speaks, or touches her. It is those pesky brain differences at play again! The sound of a man’s voice can make a woman want to draw closer to him. Remember Barry White, the soul singer. Barry may not have been much to look at, but women fell at his feet when he sang or spoke in that sexy bass voice that he was so famous for. A man’s touch can also make a woman tingle clear to her toes, especially a firm, yet gentle touch. A man begins to quiver when a woman starts to remove her clothing, but a woman is generally unmoved at the sight of a man undressing. Looking at pornography is much more provocative for men than for women, which is not to say that women don’t enjoy the sight of a handsome hunk, but viewing a man’s sexual organs will not evoke the same sensual response in a woman that viewing a woman’s breasts and genitalia will stimulate in a man.

Dr. John Gray may have been right when he suggested that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. The genders are very different creatures, with different ways of interpreting the same situations, and divergent means of responding to it. So how do men and women ever learn to get along, and be supportive partners for one another?

The trick is to recognize that men and women are different for a reason. The world does not need clones, doing the same things in the same ways, for that would be both boring and redundant. What the world needs is complimentary points of view that enable us to see a bigger picture than either males or females tend to see on their own. The differences in men and woman don’t need to lead to conflict. They can lead to inspiration, creativity, and amazing results if the genders work with instead of against one another.

Show appreciation for the gifts and limitations opposite sex. Keep an open mind when brain sex differences manifest, and understand that the opposite gender’s frame of reference, reaction, and perception is as valid as your own. Appreciate the richness that these differences bring to a relationship instead of trying to “correct” them, and you will soon discover that brain sex differences can really make life fun!