Advice, Dating Online Personals

To better communicate with woman consider the follow:

1. Have more attentive body language when you are sitting down. Don’t sit in a reclining position; it will appear as though you are not interested.
2. Hold your head straight up and don’t tilt it to the side. When you do that, it makes you appear judgmental and defensive.
3. When you gesture while talking to a woman, try to make your gestures closer to your body. This will make you appear more intimate and sensitive.
4. Be more conscious of how much room and space you take up while sitting or standing, so you don’t appear rude and intrusive to a woman. Sit closer to her.
5. When you are talking to a woman on a personal level, don’t fidget and rock back and forth. Not only is this distracting, but it gives her the impression that you are not interested in what she is saying. It also will send the message that you are in a hurry and want to leave.
6. Look directly at a woman as you talk. That does not mean you should stare. Just keep looking in her direction. Look at her entire face for a few seconds, her eyes, nose, mouth, chin, and then look at her total face. Keep rotating where you are looking-from face to chin.
7. Smile more. If you’re interested in someone, let them know it.
8. When you talk to a woman, open your jaw and don’t clench down when you speak. If you do, you will be giving the impression of being uptight and uncommunicative. Also, your tones will be more muffled, which can be very annoying.
9. Try to put more enthusiasm in your voice when you greet and converse with a woman. A monotone voice is not appealing.
10. In a conversation, respond to topics which a woman brings up. Don’t try to change the subject and don’t interrupt. When you do this, it makes her feel as though you don’t think what she has to say is important, and that you have little respect for her.
11. When listening to a woman, give her more immediate feedback when she’s talking. Interject “uhm hums” and nod more. Doing this will make you appear more attentive and more interested in what she has to say.
12. When responding to a question a woman has asked you, don’t give minimal responses like “yep,” “nope,” or “maybe. ” Give a complete answer and then explain yourself Go on to explain in greater detail why you said what you did.
13. Use more adjectives and intensifiers such as “so,” “really,” “incredibly,” “vastly,” and so forth in your descriptions. This will make you sound even more interesting and interested. Paying attention to more detailed descriptions helps you appear more aware, observant, sensitive, and perceptive.
14. Ask the woman questions when trying to stimulate conversation instead of going off on a monologue or a lecture. Let her talk and voice her opinions, too. Ask her about her “feelings” on the topics in order to stimulate the conversation. Doing so will make you appear to be more sensitive and more attentive.
15. Don’t ever use command terms to a woman. Never say, “Get me this or that.” If you are personally involved with a woman, be sure to couch your commands with terms of endearment such as “honey” or “darling,” and phrase your words with politeness. The word “please,” said in a pleasing, warm tone, is the key word if you don’t want a woman to resent doing anything for you.
16. On a similar note, never make a direct accusation to a woman if you want her to listen to what you are saying and if you don’t want to turn her off Instead of saying, “You didn’t pick up the drycleaning” in an accusatory tone, you may want to phrase your displeasure in question form, using a more gentle tone with upward inflection, coupled with terms of endearment (i.e., “Honey, was there a reason why you didn’t pick up the dry cleaning today?’). By doing this the woman is more apt to respond in a kinder, more positive manner and not respond defensively with a counterattack.
17. Don’t be stingy about giving a woman compliments. Be sincere and use words that portray true excitement.
18. When you are frustrated, at your wit’s end or emotionally moved, don’t be afraid to let off steam not only through yelling and shouting but also through tears. It makes you appear more “human and sensitive.”
19. Save your dirty and practical jokes for your male friends. Women really don’t appreciate this type of humor.
20. Don’t use swear or curse words. They usually offend women.
21. Learn to talk about personal issues. Don’t be afraid to express yourself openly and honestly. Talk about subjects that women find more interesting such as self-improvement, clothing, other people, and relationships.
22. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

In an age where relationships are being built on very shallow foundations like looks and money, it is no wonder that there is a lot of insecurity in many modern relationships. It seems that people meet, sleep together and even move in together on very shaky foundations. The reasons may seem solid at the time: the sex is really good - I think it’s love, he’s so good looking all my friends will love him, she’s so much fun spending all her trust fund money on me. But, true love’s foundation is so much more than that. It is a multi-faceted foundation where trust is at the rampart or base. And, when there’s a lack of trust, not only do things fall apart in the end. There’s a lot of spying that goes on during the relationship because of the insecurities that abound.

Now, what is spying, you ask? Well, spying is not necessarily buying surveillance equipment and bugging out your house like a Watergate hotel room. It can be more subtle than that and many times, involves mild eavesdropping or quietly picking up the other phone line. Spying in a relationship can be defined as any activity that involves finding out what your partner is saying or doing, outside of asking them directly. Now, this does not mean checking on your partner when they are driving home in a snow storm. That kind of inquisitiveness is quite normal and, hopefully, expected. But, what is on your mind when your partner is out of the house? Do you wonder if they are seeing someone? Or, do you wonder about that man or women they work with at their office? And, where does your worry leave you? What activities do you engage in to satisfy your curiosity? If you do anything to keep an eye on your partner, you are spying and there is a trust deficiency in your relationship.

Now, what tools are available to spy if you decide to keep an eye on your partner? Well, in the age of information and communication, you have to spy your partner’s communication and find their information store. A lot of times their information store is their computer’s hard drive or email box, which takes you into their communication realm, as well. These realms are so intertwined that they hard to separate these days. In the communication realm, the major forms used today are phone, email and internet, fax, and letters. There is software out there to allow you to spy on all internet related communication. And, if you are smart, you can figure out how to tap phone calls, as well.

More interesting than the tackiness of spying, however, is whether men or women harbor greater distrust. One could speculate for a long time as to which of the fairer sexes worried and, thereby, spied more. Well, it turns out that women spy more than men, believe it or not. Five percent more women than men have spied on their partners, with men coming in at 25% and 30% of women admitting to doing the surveillance thing. Further, it turns out that 34% of men said in a recent survey that spying wasn’t even their style; only 20% of women said this.

The funny thing is that almost a quarter of all women polled admitted that, while spying, they found incriminating evidence that ended their relationship. Only 14% of men responded similarly.

So, in a world of relationships built on shaky foundations, spying and distrust may be more prevalent than we care to admit. The good new, though, is that we can eliminate this if we have trust, real trust, in our partner. And, how do we do this? We must ensure that our relationship is built on love’s solid foundation. This foundation includes trust, caring and understanding, and most importantly, communication. Build your relationship on this solid foundation and your insecurities will vanish and you will have a love like you’ve never known.

Are you looking for the perfect gift for your girlfriend? Do you know what sort of things she likes? If you are not sure, it is ok. It takes time to get to know what things a woman likes and doesn’t like. Here are a few tips on giving gifts to the woman in your life. Most women love surprises, so you should try to be spontaneous and give a gift to her at a time when she would least expect it. The unexpected gifts are often the best ones!

If you are in a new relationship, the gift of flowers always goes over extremely well. Very often, a beautiful single rose or bouquets of mixed flowers are great gifts. A red rose is generally a symbol of love. If you don’t want to convey love so soon, perhaps you should pick a rose of another color like white, pink or yellow. You may want to select a few flowers and let the florist customize the presentation of them. A bit of greenery and an artistic looking bow can look amazing! Instead of cut flowers, you may decide to get your girlfriend a flowering plant, as it will last longer. Whatever you decide, make sure to include a card, with a personal note to her from your heart. This is usually a keepsake for a girl!

Another very popular gift for a woman is chocolate. In particular, chocolate truffles are very decadent and make a sweet and passionate gift. Regardless of how long you have known a woman, the gift of a box of truffles will definitely make her very happy. This may seem like an old fashioned gift to give a woman, but it is always well enjoyed. You may even decide to share this gift later in the evening in creative and romantic ways!

The gift of perfume is another very romantic thing to give a woman. She will be very impressed if you get her this, especially if she really likes the fragrance. You might want to start by giving her some sample perfumes to try, to see if she likes spicy or floral fragrances. Often, department stores give out free samples of perfumes for this purpose. Once she picks a fragrance that she likes, you might want to get the gift pack of this perfume, which can include two or three related items and sometimes comes with a free bonus gift. You may even decide to get the male version of the same scent, as it usually compliments the lady’s fragrance in a very sexy way.

Also, the gift of a bottle of imported wine goes over very well with a woman, especially if she has invited you over for dinner. Not only is wine a nice addition to the meal, it sets the mood for a romantic evening in a classy way. The combination of wine and a rose or wine and a box of truffles are all good when it comes to having a romantic evening with the woman that you love. You might even want to add some dinner candles or a vanilla scented pillar candle. Most women like the scent of vanilla, as it is sweet and subtle.

Finally, most women enjoy gift using certificates as they can select the items that they like themselves. It is so difficult to buy clothing for a woman unless you are sure of her size and taste in clothes but a gift certificate is the answer for this sort of thing. Whatever you decide to give your girlfriend, make sure it comes from your heart and she will surely love it, just because it is from you!

Have you ever wondered why some men find it easy to talk to women and some don’t? For a man to effectively communicate with a woman, he must be able to relate to her on various levels. There are several ways in which a man can improve his ability to relate to a woman while talking to her.

One of the most important aspects of relating to a woman is to learn how she thinks and feels. Even though all women are unique, there are some general ways in which they are the same. If a man can understand those underlying common denominators among women, he will be able to relate to and talk to them easier.

To start with, most women are very sensitive and caring by nature. Perhaps it is the maternal qualities of a woman, which makes them this way. With this in mind, men need to be able to relate to this sensitive and caring side of a woman when talking to her. A good example of this would be if a man saw that a woman is upset about something through observing her body language, he could ask her if everything is ok or how she is feeling. After asking these questions, men should be prepared to listen to the woman that he cares about or loves without judging her. Very often women just need an opportunity for someone to listen to them and care enough to ask how they are doing. It is important that a woman feel as though a man cares about her feelings.

Another critical thing is that a woman feels as though a man respects her. Very often in bars men approach women in vulgar ways that can be very offensive. Generally, women don’t like men to come up to them with crude remarks or suggestive conversation. This can be a real turn off for sure. It is viewed as shallow and disrespectful to be so disguising as to approach a woman that way. If a man is interested in a woman he should approach her with romantic gestures that respect her, yet express his feelings.

Something else that man can do for women in conversation is to encourage her to express her ideas and views on things. Often men tend to dominate a conversation with a woman by expressing his side of a story and not let the woman who he is talking to express her point of view. So generally, it is important to give a woman her share of the airtime while in a conversation with her.

Finally, it is important for a man to be observant of a woman when he is talking to her. He should take the time to notice and comment on the details about her that he observes.

For instance, if a woman looks beautiful to a man, he should tell her so. If she just got her hair done, it would be a good thing for him to notice this. Even if she happens to be wearing really nice shoes or earrings, a man should be observant of these small details when talking her. A woman needs to feel that the man she is talking to notices and appreciates all the things that she is. A man needs to be creative in his conversation with a woman, while appreciating everything that she is.

With all the talk by women about men who lie, cheat and run around on them, you would think that men were the evil creatures all the time. But, the truth reveals that women tell lies, as well. And, their lies can be very destructive. They may justify it by saying that men are bigger liars. The truth is that women are bigger liars than men; men just tell more lies.

But, with all the dishonesty fed them, why do women lie so much? There are many reasons. Let’s explore them.

Some women lie because, as caring creatures, they want to spare the feelings of the man they are dating or seeing. If a woman thinks a man is unattractive or has bad habits that require her to end dating, she may tell you things that aren’t true to let the man down softly. She may have even found another man to which she is more attracted.

Some women lie out of their own security about their own self-image. If they believe that they are beautiful, successful or smart and you do something to make them look bad (in their own minds), they will often lie because they actually have low self-esteem in that particular area. It is better to tell a lie to keep up her own positive feelings about how the world sees her then to tell the truth. She may even feel the need to publicly humiliate you if, in her own perception, you publicly humiliate her.

And, if you make a negative comment about her weight, God forbid, watch out. Lies will abound and you will probably be the main target of her lies. Because women are forced by our society to always be beautiful and be perceived as beautiful, a woman must always feel beautiful (in the conventional sense) even if she is not. If you destroy this self image, you will commit one of the cardinal sins against a woman.

Another reason a woman might lie is because she has some deep dark secret, or secrets, from her past that she doesn’t want known. She may try to live any lie, or series of lies, to have a man not discover what she is trying to hide. It may be something that is not even her fault, like a date rape or a relationship with an ugly guy. It may also be to protect her past sexual behavior of which she is not proud. It is important to cultivate a relationship that emphasizes open communication about the past so that all the facts are on the table and you can start clean.

Women will often lie about male friends that they have. In the same way that a man may enjoy having female friends, many women enjoy the company of their male friends. These friends may be male co-workers or friends from the past. This is quite normal but concerns a lot of over-protective men. Because of this fact, many women, to avoid a jealous environment, will lie about doing anything with this male friend. She may have lunch with him during the day or a coffee after her evening class. These lies can do a lot of damage if a woman is caught but many women will tell them because they do not want to hurt their partners and they enjoy the company of close friends, male or female.

If you have trust issues in your relationship, in general, a woman may lie to you. Trust is something that you must build from the beginning of the relationship, even when you first begin dating. If she is building the relationship based upon certain untruths, you may be in for a surprise or two as things progress.

Finally, some women are just plain cunning and deceitful. They will lie to manipulate a man, testing him to pass some test she has developed in her own mind. By keeping the upper hand with a battery of lies, she will find out if he is the one she wants. If he isn’t, she can just dump him because the lies create no ties. A man must do all he can to keep his relationship open and honest. But, he must be cognizant that some women are not all that they make themselves to be.

Yap, yap, yap, nag, nag, nag, gossip, gossip, gossip! Why do women talk so much? Although the world is full of men who like to talk, and do so often and well, there is a universal stereotype that says that women out-talk men. On average, women do speak about 4000 more words daily than men. Differences in male and female communication styles are not only relevant to how much they talk, but what they choose to talk about, and why.

Men tend to employ a “if it is broke, fix it,” mentality. They believe in taking action when they encounter a problem. It is not uncommon for a man to retreat into privacy to think through a problem without asking the opinions of others. He will ponder, and perhaps even conduct formal research, before reaching a decision. Once he has a solution in mind he will take action to initiate it. After he has successfully addressed the situation at hand, he may wish to talk about the brilliance of his strategy, or the success of his results. Seldom do men want to ask others what they should do about their problems.

Women operate a bit differently. Women like to talk through their problems as opposed to thinking through them in private. Women feel better after explaining their problems to others, even if a solution to the problem is yet to be discovered. Speaking aloud provides a way for a woman to clarify her thoughts and explore the various dimensions of the issue at hand. Often times this practice of “talking through problems” is misunderstood or misinterpreted by men.

When a man hears a woman he cares about discussing something that is distressing her, his first inclination may be to help by sending her a solution to her problem. He begins by saying “Well, if I were you I would…,” or, “What you need to do is…” Another man would likely appreciate this direct approach to helping him solve a problem. Unfortunately, a woman might not be receptive to this approach. She may let the man know that his solution is off base, because he doesn’t know the full extent and history involved in the problem, and then go on to explain them further, or surprisingly, she may report that she already knows what she is going to do!

A man might be inclined to ask why the problem is still being discussed if a solution has already been found. The woman may respond that she is testing out her solution by running it past others whose opinions she values before committing to action. She may go so far as to phone several others to ask what they would do in a similar situation. She then synthesizes their responses with her own plan to refine it before enacting it.

Women sometimes even feel patronized when a man attempts to assist her by sending along a workable solution. “He doesn’t think I know how to do anything!” she will whisper to her friends. A woman will feel more supported by the man in her life if he abstains from offering advice, and asks clarifying questions to help her better think through her own issues. Here are five questions that will help a woman picture the outcome she wants, discover her options, weight her risks, and develop a plan.

1. Given the situation at hand, what would be the best possible result that you could achieve?
2. What option do you have for obtaining that outcome?
3. What are the risks, or downsides of each option?
4. Which risks could you most easily and completely control?
5. What are you going to do?

Another reason that women like to talk is to formulate a mental measuring stick of their own value. Although both men and women gossip, women are usually accused of it more often than men. A man’s gossip tends to differ from women’s gossip in content and comment. One man might tell another man his opinion about a speculative event, such as who will get an upcoming promotion or demotion at work, but seldom will a man reveal deeply personal information to others. Some men may even feel it is a sign of weakness or vulnerability to talk about their personal emotional issues to others.

Women tend to talk more about their feelings to other women than men do, and then ask, “Is it normal for me to feel this way?” Women may also trade tales about what is happening in a third party’s personal life, and compare their own situation to it in hopes of noticing how much better they have handled things than others. Gossip serves as a way that a woman can stay in the loop, and judge her own role competency as a woman.

When women gossip the tale tends to grow taller with every telling. Women add their impressions and opinions to gossip as they pass it along, where men stick more to the original facts as he first heard them as he passes the story along. For this reason men’s gossip tends to morph less than women’s gossip as it passes from one person to the next and retains more of its original content.

It is a rare man that has never been accused of not listening when a woman speaks. A woman may even give her man a “listening test,” if his mind seems to have wandered away from the conversation. “Okay, tell me what I just said!” she will exclaim. Much to her amazement, the male partner in the conversation can usually relate the most salient points of her verbal presentation back to her. So if a man really is listening, why does a woman think he isn’t? It could be because men listen without interruption or comment.

Dr. Deborah Tannen, author of You Just Don’t Understand: Men and Women in Conversation (2001) states that women feel listened to when the other person in the conversation makes supportive utterances as she talks. Interjecting phrases such as “I see,” or “Tell me more,” convey understanding and interest. “That’s great,” or “Oh, no!” provides empathy and support. Men who wish to be thought of as good listeners by their female counterparts will want to become more involved and active in the conversation, and contribute their own reactions to what she is saying.

Men sometimes get lost in the verbal barrage that a woman can generate when she is talking to him. Few women get directly to the point when telling a story. They bring in seemingly irrelevant details and draw analogies to things that men cannot comprehend as being germane to the topic being discussed. This circular speech pattern tends to be frustrating for men to follow and they may eventually ask that the woman come directly to the point. This is a useless request, since for women, all of the details are part of the point to be made. To help a woman consolidate her conversation interrupt politely and say, “Let me see if I am following this…,” then repeat what she has stated in an abbreviated form. Often times she will pick up on the summary style of the man, and will complete her story in a more condensed version.

A woman may use conversation to feel closer to the man she loves. Females tend to need more verbal reassurance than men regarding the secure status of their relationship. Men tend to want to talk about the relationship only when a problem arises with it, while women feel the need to discuss how good the relationship is, or how much it has grown over time. What man doesn’t want to sprint from the room when a woman says, “Honey, let’s talk about our relationship”? Resist the urge to run gentleman, and simply say, “Yes, let’s! I have been meaning to tell you how much you mean to me.” Then proceed to spontaneously tell your lady that you love her more each day, and specifically what she does that makes your life better. A grand tribute of verbal appreciation and a hug will be all she needs to allay any doubts that she has been feeling about your commitment to her.

When conversing with a woman, especially about how you feel, it is important to maintain consistent eye contract. When men talk to one another, they often speak while looking at a third thing rather than at each other. Women look directly at one another when they converse. Many women believe that the eyes are the window to the soul, and they are able to derive a great deal of meaning from what a man is saying to her with his eyes.

One last tip guys, to prevent a woman from nagging, write down the things that she asks you to do so you won’t forget to do them, and let her know approximately when you intend to get around to the requested tasks. Typically, she will not bring them up again unless the deadline passes and no action has been taken. Don’t make false commitments and say that you will do things that you have no intention of actually accomplish. If you stay credible with her, she will not disrupt your solitude with repeated reminders to get things done.

Yes, women are great talkers. They talk to establish rapport, to fend off nervousness, to feel closer to others, to support and reassure others, to measure their own competence, to feel included and to get things done. Resistance is futile, fellas. To assure that the females in your life feel loved, listen well, take an active interest in her life, and provide frequent verbal reinforcement of the fact that she is, indeed, your everything. Tell her that life without her would be intolerable. She will definitely stop talking to listen to that!